Week 8

DR. CETRULO'S INJURY REPORT

Stalisbury Steaks
The team hit worst by the injury bug this year has to be the Salisbury Steaks. GM Iafe has been beseeched by injuries all season long. Arod has recently come off the DL to bring some relief. With Tulo on the DL replacing him its much like one step forward two steps back for GM Iafe. John Smoltz would be a welcome addition off the DL, but continues to sit there with a “Sore shoulder.” The latest news on Smoltz looks grimm as well, “Smoltz felt tightness in his shoulder Sunday, a day after reporting no pain during his minor league rehab appearance, the Braves' official site reports.” More bad news for The Steaks.

Float It
GM Kellan has dealt with mixed results in terms of injuries. Oft Injured AJ Burnett, Kerry Wood, and Jeff Kent haven’t seen the DL at all and have missed almost no games this year. GM McNulty dealt with Beckett starting the year on the DL, which was a huge loss for this young squad. Victor Martinez has also seen the DL for much of this season and has only 16 RBI for a usual big hitter. The latest news on V-Mart is that the finger injury that kept him out of last weeks action is no big deal and it is safe to start him.

Fastballs For Breakfast
Young GM Hoffman has had a rough start to this season. In a shocking turn of events the Rookie Manager led his team to the league championship. However, this year, things haven’t gone so well. The Fastballs best player has also been the one hit most by injuries. Rafael Furcal had been tearing up the fantasy worlds. Furcal’s back has been failing him this year. He is apparently in even worse shape these days. The latest news is that Furcal will not be joining the Dodgers on their 7-game road trip. Bad news for the already struggling Fastballs.

The Three R’s
GM Houghteling took a big gamble, looking into the eyes of the baseball gods and telling them I will risk it that Albert Pujols will be healthy this year. Pujols has 63 hits in 182 at-bats, a number that leads to a .346 avg. He hasn’t missed a game with the “elbow injury” that will eventually need surgery. The Cardinals' first baseman has a "high-grade" tear of the ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow, as well as bone spurs, inflammation and arthritis in the joint.” If he keeps performing like this, the R’s have a good chance of moving up in the standings. GM Houghteling must be upset with the status of his pitchers. The preseason best pitching staff has been reduced by the most recent loss of Fausto Carmona.

Hot Ice Conservators
GM Kreicher lost the reigning MLB MVP for a large amount of time. While most everyday player has between 180-200 at-bats, Rollins has just barely reached 115 at-bats. Every team in the league would be worse if they lost that much production from the best player on their team. Howie Kendrick, hurt much of his last year, is truly disappointing his new GM. Kreicher has been elevated by the amazing stats provided by Miguel Tejada (warning Steriod abuse causes: The major side effects from abusing anabolic steroids can include liver tumors and cancer, jaundice (yellowish pigmentation of skin, tissues, and body fluids), fluid retention, high blood pressure, increases in LDL (bad cholesterol), and decreases in HDL (good cholesterol). Other side effects include kidney tumors, severe acne, and trembling. For men - shrinking of the testicles, reduced sperm count, infertility, baldness, development of breasts, increased risk for prostate cancer.

Cracker Jacks
The big news coming into this season was the health of his 2 star pitchers, Kelvim Escobar and John Lackey. GM Sands has roared to the top of the rankings without these 2 all-star caliber pitchers. Lackey has returned recently with exactly what GM Sands was hoping for when he was drafted. Lackey is one of the best pitchers in baseball when healthy and has pitched that well so far. When Escobar joins Lackey healthy, this team could further boost their rankings and make them hard to catch come the summer.

Gary Busey is Chet Stedman
GBCS has been incredibly healthy all year. Players who have missed games include, Conor Jackson who has missed a few stretches of games and Ian Kinsler and Prince Fielder early in the season. GM Cetrulo has been so lucky with his health that he was able to pick up Joel Zumaya and keep him in an open DL slot just waiting until he is healthy again. If he starts closing games for the Tigers look out.

Road Babes
The Babes are another team that has been spared from the injury bug. GM Freund has slowly been moving up the standings and gaining respect from the rest of the league. The recent news doesn’t look to good for the babes, as “King” Felix Hernandez has a bright red DTD’s next to his name. Although there has been no improvement in Felix’s calf, the King is adament that he will make his scheduled start. This is good news, but if newly arriced Dan Haren is going to matter, GM Freund needs King Felix to pitch and keep pitching as he has all year.

Shits of Jack Bradfield
The Shirts have recently realized that their luck would eventually run out. Matt Holliday, the shirts best returning player has been put on the 15DL. Holliday received bad news “The Rockies don't have a timetable for Holliday's (left hamstring) return, the Rocky Mountain News reports. He will not initially join the Rockies on their 10-game road trip that begins Monday. Holliday will miss at least 15 days, although nothing is known beyond that.” Another of Shirts good outfield has been held out of a few games recently, Rick Ankiel the pitcher turned hitter, has only 10 at-bats in the last 7 days. If those two players return healthy the Shirts will be the team to beat this summer.

Scuffie McGee
Scuffie has not had to deal with too many of his top players being hurt. Personal favorite/slash maybe a steal pitcher Pedro Martinez has not returned from his injury to have any impact on the future of GM Sigel’s team. Pedro went so far as to suggest that this might be his last year in the majors. If this is true then one of the great Pitchers of all time will be retiring. The only other news about Scuffie is that Vernon Wells, the big tease as he should be known, found himself on the DL after breaking his wrist making a sliding catch for a line drive. Having a solid start to his season, Wells’ production was replaced by the stellar play of Jacoby Ellsbury and Pat Burrell.

That is all for Dr. Cetrulo’s Injury report. See you before the playoffs with another injury report.